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Cash Movie review: Cashcow or Scarecrow ? Wednesday, 15 April, 2009

Posted by ~uh~™ in Bollywood.
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A cash-ual approach

[I don’t choose my movies with great care. I only watch movies on Fri & Sat night shows. I watch from my  favorite sofawala seat nos X-21 & 22. If I don’t get those seats I don’t watch the movie. Thus whatever movie is available on these two days with those two seat nos, I watch them. So if it was Red, so be it, if it’s Cash, I couldn’t care less. If I like the movie, I feel good. If it sucks, I write a review quickly. Either way it’s fun.]

Cash is a movie directed by the same director of Dus- Anubhab Sinha. Dus was a likeable movie with Pankaj Kapoor as Jambal. I expected something like Jambal. What I found? Gambol.

Story Encashed

Unfortunately I wasn’t intoxicated enough to decipher even a simple story about Diamonds, nuts, crooks, cops, babes, uncles, remote control gadgets and marked dollars.

Though I could not understand fully, I could gather is it’s about a big diamond originated from India, which was divided into three small diamonds eventually, because you can’t divide a big diamond into three big diamonds.

Cape Town is the place where these diamonds are expected to re-unite under criminal supervision. The job is assigned to top criminal mastermind Doc (Devgan) by a “back from the dead” bad criminal Angad (Suniel Shetty). Surprisingly, Doc appoints & sub appoints few specialists of the trade from India, to steal a painting (why? I dunno). There’s a cash reward (US$ 50mn) for the job plus skimpily clad girls to dance around, in abundance.

Each & every characters had a not so perfect past, and they are gradually cooked in this khichdi- narrated by Zayed Khan to Ayesha-in-business-class-Takia of a flight from Cape Town (or towards it, whatever).

After lot of confusion, action, drama, car stunts, animation, suspense and more confusion the story ends takeing lives of bad criminals & few cops while the good crooks come out of the fire- unhurt, unshaven & suave.

All walked to glory.

I have cashtraited the story.

Cash Deposit

Animation: Like Kill Bill & Run Lola Run high fidelity animation is used in plenty for many of the action sequences. Undoubtedly the animations are superior (the filmmaker did the animated Ramayan). It also saves the director to shoot the stunts real time. If this trend continues, all body doubles & stuntmen would be jobless soon.

Stunts: Too much of it & at too many places like Dhoom-2. Outstanding car chases, water scooter, parasailing, skateboards, chopper, yacht, Bungee jumps, kick in the air, screech….crash…bang ! Superb stunts with spell bounding cinematography & multiple camera angles with action replay. Too many cars- Audi, BMW, Nissan, Merc and many more. A new vehicle was invented for this movie, like a surfboard on small wheels. The driver/ passenger has to lie down flat and it travels @ 100kmpl. This vehicle is useful to plant bombs on the cars. Awesome. Pass me the grass Director.

Laugh : I recall two instances where I laughed. Otherwise, I was seriously busy understanding the story. One, when Doc Devgan narrates how to start a car over cell phone explaining the “gaarrrr- poooo- ghack” technique to Samita. Another was the “dhundla” guy, who was explaining the looks of Devgan to Samita & later the police artist. That dhundla guy was outstanding in his short role.

Cash Withdrawal

It’s futile to describe the performances. Major performances were by the animation designer & the stunt director. I will make a feeble try to describe my take on the cast.

There was lot of characters with varying degree of style quotient & looks. So far I was aware about the “out -of-the bed-look”, but this movie helped me derive some more.

Ajay Devgan : Doc is not a doctor, he is actually an Engineer turned criminal but pretends to be a writer husband of a security honcho in Indian Embassy (Samita Shetty). He looks funny and plays with lot of remote controlled toys.

His sported a ” Kajol-will-beat-me-to-death-if-he-sees-me-this-way” look.


Samita Shetty: “Amul-macho” look. The babe in baniyan. Toned body, stoned acting, honed bra-very, proned to Devgan’s pranks. Alas, she is fooled till the end and to be continued…

Suniel Shetty: “dunno-how-to-shave-but-have-money” look. Complete dumb in designer jackets. He was named Angad. Poor villain, he does not get the diamond, money or girl- just bullet.  But The chair with a checkered backdrop, nevertheless was an outstanding & extremely “graphic” scene !

Diya Mirza

Diya Mirza: “My-new-name-is-Aditi” look. Does not have much to do before getting killed by her lover Angad. She must concentrate on her future roles as kindergarten teacher or a nurse. I will award her as the “most dressed lady of the film”.

Esha Deol: “Am-still-in-the-hangover-of-Dhoom2” look. She is the lass who kicks a*s to get the cash, bash the cops to crash the car to trash. In mini skirt & pony-tail, loved by two men she drove the movie in cars. Gimme my cash back, lady.

Zayed Khan: “Travelling-for-the-first-time in-business-class-with-a-tie” look. A water ski freak who hates Ritesh, loves Esha. Dump him to recycle bin.

Ritesh Deshmukh: “Just-out-of-the-toilet-after-5-days-of-constipation” look. Alternatively can be called as the “Scarecrow” look. He fights with Zayed, trying to look cool. Dump him to recycle bin too & then click “empty”.

Music- was there a cash back offer?

Paisa pheko, Tamasha dekho (title song)– dil mein hai cash, man mein hai cash,_(dash) mein bhi cash etc etc. The good thing is if you are late in entering the hall, you can miss it. Yeah !

Rehem Karo, Have mercy- an itchy bitchy number with a dehydrated item bomb in red hot pants. I have last seen Michael Jackson doing the “-thou shall scratch but thou shall not touch the crotch” act.

Mindblowing mahiya– a fast forwarded track in golden & white combination by Samita shetty. No further comments.

Background score was good, though.

Still reading?

Oh, you want to know the verdict?

Go watch it if you like comics, Samita Shetty in baniyan, don’t want disturbance created by storyline in between action sequences and song-dance and finally have lawaris cash-in-hand. Else, watch Dus once again.

~uh*~

ps: The title is meaningless. Made an owl of you !

pps: Alternative titles -Cowdung of Cashcow, Cashablanca, Cash-ew Nuts etc.

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Comments»

1. Serendipity - Wednesday, 15 April, 2009

lollllll!!
I havent seen this movie. And now, i doubt i will, even on cable. 😀

~uh~: One of the milestone in crappy movies for sure.

2. gauri - Thursday, 16 April, 2009

Thank you, I’m put off already. Not that I would’ve watched it otherwise – but then I would have just not watched it. Now I’ll actively avoid it 😉

g
~uh~: I like writing on bad movies. I love writing on them for a great social cause, you see.

3. Vee - Thursday, 16 April, 2009

Don know whether I read this b4 or not? Commented or not? Was it on MS?

Anyways, good to read an article which rapes the already battered movie…. but trust me utna mazaa nahi aata as this is old movie.. in the sense if u review a really old (70s, 80s n 90s) then it wud score a much more than reviewing this…

Btw, except Dia all other female actors look like MAN.

~uh~: This is my old review of 2007. ‘Cash’ is arguably is one of the amusingly worst movie. Like Tashan.
MS is now banned at work, so could not give the link. I have realized I have written substantial bad movie reviews and am skeptical about the sutainability of it’s ‘original context’ . So I have decided to compile all of them here. Still 4-5 of them are pending to be posted here.
Good point, I do have few old movie is mind 😉

4. Hangover:10 worst Hindi Movies of 2007 « AEIOU ¿ ® - Friday, 17 April, 2009

[…] Cash &heart […]

5. Luck Stuck and One Smoking Jackpotboiler « AEIOU ¿ ® - Tuesday, 28 July, 2009

[…] Chocolate (Usual Suspects) and Sanjay Gadhvi’s Dhoom 1 & Dhoom 2 , Anubhav Sinha’s Dus and Cash fall under this genre of films which redefine the concept of entertainment with élan, flourish and […]

6. Exie - Friday, 2 April, 2010

Hey everyone, Happy Fool’s Day!

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

Happy April Fool’s Day!


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