22 Reasons To Watch Tashan Now Thursday, 9 July, 2009Posted by ~uh~™ in Bollywood, Movies.
Tags: Akshay Kumar, Anil Kapoor, Desi, English, Humour, Kareena Kapoor, Review, spoof, Tashan, zeroine
This was one of my old unfinished reviews, lying on the drafts folder. The ongoing reviews of Kambaqt Ishq reminded me of this movie and I thought of publishing this after some modification.
For a change I will also be in brief (meaning, within 5000 characters with spaces).
This is not exactly a review. There are many more reviews to understand the storyline, performances, direction and other technical stuff, pluses and minuses of this neo-noir roadie motion picture. Unfortunately, I could not leave my brain back home in the fridge as recommended by some reviewers. I actually went to see Ironman . Unfortunately, the print did not reach on time to the hall, and they changed the show to Tashan. It was morning show and ticket was only 60 bucks and we were very disappointed to turn back, empty headed, so we agreed.
Well equipped with the knowledge gathered from multiple reviews I kept my expectation as small as Kareena’s hotpants. But amazingly enough Tashan exceeded my expectation. So let me list out the facets which I found to be quite educative, subject to suspension of little bit of disbelief, common sense, logic, logistics and keeping difficult subjects like physics, chemistry, biology on standby mode.
You can learn –
- How to deliver underwater monologues without letting air bubbles out.
- How to go to Mumbai to Hardwar, driving a 2 seater convertible Mercedes via Tibet. And mind you, that’s a shortcut. Similarly, Rajasthan to Kerala backwaters takes no time to travel.
- How car’s number plate changes when you drive it off the road in high speed
- How to manhandle a car stereo and jump into a pool of water deep enough for a submarine, but shallow enough for the actors to stand knee deep on it.
- A 40+ year old guy with a weird handlebar moustache (50% natural 50% made up) can be a ‘call centre executive’.
- Call centres are actually online telephone directory of mobile numbers.
- How to pick and dry ‘ladies banyan’.
- How to drive a bike from Malad Mindspace ( where most of the call centers exist) to VT ( 40 Kms) in less than 10 minutues.
- How to asphyxiate English language. Tashan supercedes Borat on this parametre.
10. How to wear colorful tent house material as skirt and dance too.
11. Its cool to wear a antifit green cargo with huge red belt for a call centre executive.
12. The original Jimmy Cliff, a 60 year old Jamaican reggae singer doesn’t even know how he is so well known in UP.
13. Pronouncing ‘ich’ in place of ‘is’, my dear phellow, can be a Tashan too !
14. How to steal electricity and survive high voltage shock directly sent from Transformers.
15. Why ‘ditch’ rhymes with ‘bitch’ and it rhymes with ‘itch’.
16. Manly way to scratch the part of the body, in between 2 legs of Akshay Kumar, named Tom and Harry.
17. Why “Spoof” and “Goof” is related to ‘oof” !
18. Identify and count the ribs of Kareena with your kindergarten kid.
19. White white face dekhe dilwa beating fast sasura chance mare re- it’s a song picturized with white female dancers for a foreign film.
20. Even a bikini can quialify to be be nominated for the best ‘supporting’ role.
21. A heroine with size zero is called Zeroine.
22. Tashan is anyday more entertaining movie than RGV Ki AAG.