Tagtics: Chumma Vambukku Wednesday, 16 September, 2009Posted by ~uh~™ in General Advice Humour.
Tags: Humour, Nonsense, Podaponaku, questions, quiz, Tags
I was tagged by Podaponaku. Podaponaku in Tamil means “Get lost, you dumbhead”. In that spirit, I am doing this tag-
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4?
I looked around. The nearest books near me are- a Construction Contract, Statutory Manual for Company Secretaries, Practical Guide to Deeds and Documents. I guess no one would be interested in such books so I got up and looked for better books. I found a menu-book of ‘Hot-Pot’ restaurant, but unfortunately it did not have page 18. The next one was a souvenir from a Bangkok club which did not have any text but had picture of two Asian girls singing. Desperate, I started ransacking everyone’s desk and found the menu-book of ‘Hare- Krishna Pure Veg ” which had page 18.The line 4 read “Kesar Pista Falooda——-40:00”
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air?
The instruction is not clear regarding the direction I should stretch my left arm. Also ‘air’ can be interpreted in various ways, unless specifically mentioned. By Air I normally mean outside fresh air- hence the term Airing the Coat or mattress. Indoor air is also another kind of air, but they are re-circulated. Air can also men ‘treated fresh air’ and I would need an IAQ (Indoor Air Quality metre) to measure the freshness. I guess the right word would be ‘space’. Finally, one can’t catch space or air as the perception of ‘catching’ can only be registered in brain if the object has a texture, significant weight and some sort of shape. Space and air are devoid of such physical perceptible parameters. The question, when rightly framed should read ‘Stretch your left arm perpendicular to your body making an angle of ninety degree and see if you can grab anything with an interesting shape, size and texture ?
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Again this question is ambiguous. What is meant by TV ? The equipment or the programs ? My TV, as an equipment or monitor screen, is connected to DTH modem, DVD player, Camcorder and Play station console. So my TV can display the programs aired by various channels, the games, the videos or the movies depending on which gadget is operative at that particular point of time. To answer correctly, the last thing I watched on TV screen was the start-up menu of the DVD-‘ Ali G Inda House’.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
6 pm (time to leave)
5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11:20 am ( I am too optimistic I think)
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The humming of AHU and flipping sound of papers, the constant chomp-chomp sound of my colleague eating the brain of a business associate over a concall.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Outside what ? Cubicle, home, office, area, city or country ? I stepped out of the home to step in to the lift to come down and step out of it to step in the car to step out of it and step in to the lift again to step out of it to step into the office and then step into my cabin and stepped out again to use the wash room and I was picking nose, driving, picking nose again and flushing in the places respectively.
8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?
To the girl next to my cabin who is looking like Lalu prasad Yadav after her haircut.
9. What are you wearing?
Visible – trousers, shirt, cuff-links, spectacles, watch, belt, socks, shoes. I am sure no one would be interested in the specifications of the invisible stuff.
10. When did you last laugh?
When I saw my guess of time was significantly wrong.
11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
I guess by wall it means ‘enclosure’. Well 3 of them are glass one of which has the glass door. The fourth one has a white board hung on it. There used to be a painting but it was too abstract and through provoking so it was shifted to the HR Head’s cabin.
12. Seen anything weird lately ?
I dunno, if this can be called weird.
13. What do you think of this quiz?
Very thought provoking and useful. It is also not that easy as it looks like.
14. What is the last film you saw?
La Femme d’à côté (Woman Next Door), a French film directed by François Truffaut.
15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Warren Buffet’s company and Captain Haddock’s Marlinspike Hall, in that order. Also a Harley Davidson Fatboy, if there’s any change left.
16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!
I lied about picking nose on the lift second time.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Stop it from spinning and reverse its spin the other way round. That would bring some sea change (pun intended) to mankind.
18. Do you like to Dance?
Yes, yes and the urge is directly proportional to the number of drinks I‘ve downed and who’s asking me to dance. I can’t dance if I am not drunk enough.
19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
We already have our first child as a boy. He won’t like to be named as a girl.
20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Why should I imagine him as a boy, when he actually is !
21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Consider- yes, living- no.
22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Sorry, happy hours here, single men not allowed.
I welcome anyone to pick it up. Vadi yein kappakazhangu !