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Clairvoyant’s Clue Friday, 22 January, 2010

Posted by ~uh~™ in Blogging, Office Humour.
Tags: , , , , , , ,
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I always find it interesting to think about the future, near or distant and try to visualize  the technology, inventions and its effect on our life. To my pride, not so long back I have predicted few things about a website which, within an year was converted to vivid reality. Obviously, I was never given the due credit. Nonetheless, credits are immaterial for gifted clairvoyants who are always concerned about, obviously, the future and the greater good. And it’s impact on mankind.

Having been experienced the internet evolution and it’s repercussions into our socio-psychological lifestyle, it is evident that it is a unwise and rather destructive effort to disconnect internet (pun intended) from the future work-life. My guess is the term ‘worki would soon be realized to have a different meaning, a sub-culture under a broader phenomenon happening in the cyberspace. And we need to work around that. An archetypical pre-employment due diligence form would then look like below –

Form 2A: Pre Employment Questionnaire

1. Name:

2. Age:

3. Sex:

4. Marital Status:

5. Permanent Address:

6. Chat IDs:

Yahoo  [………………………]

GTalk   [………………………]

MSN   [………………………]

Skype  [………………………]

Others [………………………]

7. Reason for job change [tick as applicable]

Salary   []          Boss    []          Firewall []          Other                []

8. Online networking membership details [ tick as applicable]

Facebook         []          Yahoo  []          Myspace           []

Orkut                []          Twitter               []          Ibibo                []

Hi-5                  []          Bebo               []          Digg                 []

Stumbleupon    []          Ning                 []          Dogster            []

Hi-5                  []          Bebo               []          Friendster         []

Gaia                 []          Ning                 []          LinkedIn            []

Meebo              []          Reddit              []          Ryze                 []

9. No of friends / followers [ tick as applicable]

Less than 50     []          51-200              []          500 or more      []

1000 or more     []          No idea             []          Lost Count        []

10. Online Photo/ Video sharing details [ tick as applicable]

Netflix               []          Ustream            []          Photobucket     []

Flickr                []          Twitpic              []          Mogulus           []

Picasa              []          Stick am           []          Boxee               []

FotoFlexer        []          Viddler              []          Picnik               []

Qik                   []          Hulu                 []          Shutterfly          []

Sling                 []          Vuvox               []          Joost                []

YouTube           []          SmugMug         []          Zoomr              []

11. Do you have a blog ?

Yes      []                      What’s a blog ? []

12. What the status of your blog ? [ ignore if not ‘yes’ in Q # 11]

Active               []          Dormant           []          Dead                []

13. What is your area of interest(s) ? [ tick as applicable]

Movies             []          Music               []          Photography     []

Pornography     []          Literature           []          Wikipedia          []

Sports              []          Food                []          Automobile       []

Other                []          All                    []

14. Please select the software(s) for your daily need [ tick as applicable]

Photoshop        []          Vuze                 []          Others as listed below   []

14a……………………

14b……………………

14c……………………

14d……………………

14d……………………

14d……………………

15. How much time you intend to spend for productive work?

2 hours []          Less than 2 hrs  []          Not Applicable  []

16. What is the internet connection speed you need?

100mbps          []          more     []

17. Are you open to add your Boss as a friend in Facebook ?

Yes      []          Are you nuts ?   []

18. Please select your primary usage of Blackberry [ tick as applicable]

Twitter   []  Facebook     []          G Chat  []          Mails    []          Blog     []  Others []

19. How do you want tea/ coffee?

Unlimited, served at my desk     []          Can I get chilled beer too?        []

20. How much raise do you want on your current salary? [Ignore if you have answered Firewall to Q # 7]

20% []      50%   []          More  []

I hereby state that all the above information furnished by me is true to the best of my knowledge and belief. I understand that the information provided by me here may be used for or against my qualification for the job I have been considered for.

…………………………………                                          Date: ………………………

Signed

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Comments»

1. witsnnuts - Friday, 22 January, 2010

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaaa
why don’t u write often ?

firewall has disturbed u very much, i see. no wonder ur IT guys are big ma********* . !!

cheers & write often .
…………………….
~uh~™ : why don’t u write often ? – Well I can’t even if i want to. Like sex, you know ?
Good to see you, pal.

2. naren - Sunday, 24 January, 2010

Haha! Enjoyed this!!

3. alok - Monday, 25 January, 2010

ek bharat sarkaar ka doordrashan ek [edited] the hatthee ki door darshitaa 😀 dono hi unique hain in todays time

4. mirnalini - Tuesday, 26 January, 2010

LOL & LOL….really good one bro…

5. Whatsinaname - Tuesday, 26 January, 2010

Hello I think I would be the only one here who doesn’t want to see such a future. I am happy being prehistoric 😉


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