Uhsdom Compilation (1) Monday, 7 June, 2010Posted by ~uh~™ in General Advice Humour.
Tags: Humour, one liners, quote compilation, quotes, uhsdom, uhsdom compilation
A compilation of original wisdom quotes from ~uh~ (aka uhsdom) scattered around the internet in Facebook, Twitter, blogs and memory. Feel free to use them. However, my soul will rust in peace if you mention the source.
1. Cakewalk: when you start walking fast to redeem the calories and overcome the guilt of having a large piece of sumptuous cake.
2. Money saved is money earned, time saved is a movie earned.
3. When in doubt, put it in the microwave.
4. If wishes were horses, all Jockeys would have been VIPs and Rupa would marry Gopal.
5. A pedestrian is a person who thinks a Car solves all problems in life.
6. A true friend will always remember all your embarrassing moments to the minute detail.
7. The most memorable nights of a boozer’s life can’t be recalled in totality.
8. Alcohol is almost like cheese, only you don’t have to say it loudly to grin, while clicking a snap.
9. Memory curd is the English expression of ‘Deemag ki Dahi’. E.g- Don’t memory curd me with your lecture.
10. When you meet a young good looking girl and she doesn’t hesitate to share her contacts, you must be married and touching forty.
11. All play and no work made Jack a Ball-boy.
12. A Bong leaves early on the same day when he reaches late for office. Reason- he can’t be late twice in a single day.
13. These days the girls iron their hair, and wear short tops to show their innerwear. Not so long ago they used to iron their innerwear and wear short hair to show their tops.
14. What do you call the shade difference of the skin in the ring finger? Ring tone.
15. They say, carry a good recipe to stay happy. I say, marry a good recipe and stay happier.
16. A guy becomes a man when he goes to a chemist shop to buy condoms for the first time and returns just with the condoms.
17. The secret of a long happy married life depends on which side of the bed you sleep- the wall side or the door side.
18. Online friendship doesn’t last long. It just disconnects.
19. “It sucks” becomes a compliment only in case of a Vacuum cleaner or a hooker.
20. S is the most important letter in English. Words can become Sword by just changing the position of ‘s’. It also makes the difference between a hit post and a shit post.